Beginning of separation

I am sitting on the bed in my new room, in my new home for an indefinite period. My fingers are stiff and I'm wondering if I should take a few photos of the surroundings that I could send in the email to the eager family. Smoke from grilled meat from the restaurant on the ground floor wafts throughout the apartment. Pink´s music is playing me to encourage me in my decision, which has really taken its validity today. I stayed alone in Prague.

I stubbornly wanted to live and work in a beautiful city that means a lot to me. I lived here in my childhood, I returned here after twenty years and said "yes" to a man to a question that meant a big life step and commitment. And today in this city I said "yes" again, but this time to the question of whether I can live alone in a metropolis full of strangers, where I am also a stranger to myself. "Yes", if I again chose the most difficult of the possible paths that I could take. "Yes" to separation. And this "yes" is connected with the very primal "yes" like a fine line between love and hate. Despite their differences, these "yes" go hand in hand. "Yes" to living together linked with "yes" to separation.

In my imagination, both of these decisions are connected. In order to give strength and stability to a relationship, I have to give it a solid foundation, a good start in life and a lot of love, but sometimes we have to sacrifice a lot in order to gain the strength to handle the future trials of life. And when is a better time to sacrifice than at the beginning, before other family ties bind us?

I confess, I had a hard time finding meaning in my actions when the train was moving with him from the Main Station back to Slovakia. It was just as hard for me to find the strength to not allow tears to slide down my cheeks. But if I give up and run home crying, I will say "no" to all the chances in life. And this would be a very cowardly choice. I will be 560 kilometers away from the nearest person, but I hope that this huge distance will bring us even closer.

Therefore: welcome strangers! I believe that among you I will find some good friends, stories that no one will want to believe are true and my place in this world.